Do we have a script? As for your 5 points, they are ok but need some revision. For example, I think you should start with how she got inspired at Wilcox Elem. Start with how that project touched her in some way to do something herself on her own. Then go into her birthday wish, to do something for others instead of getting anything for herself. Then move point 4 up to point 3 where she talks about how her family has stepped up to help her achieve her goal. Point 4 could be about her latest birthday and what she did this year. Point 5 could be about how others think of her but being amazed by this is not so unusual. I think it's a given that people think highly of her. Let's see if we can come up with a better point 5. I have some ideas but I want to see what you can come up with first.
I really need to see a script. 1 point so far with no script.