The first thing I notice right away is that your VO is too fast. Kirra is speaking way too fast and needs to slow down. It's hard to comprehend what she's saying at times. There is a lot of good information to hear but if we can't understand what she's saying, then it's lost. Slow down and breathe. You also need more space between your clips. You have a few instances where the sound bite or VO ends and even gets softer and then the very next clip comes in right after, almost cutting the last word that was said when the next sound bite or VO comes in. I noticed some black flashes in between clips which means your clips aren't right up next to each other. They need to be connected so that we don't see that. The way the story is laid out it sounds like she is helping the backpack brigade, the Boys and Girls Club, and the Food Bank all at the same time. Didn't she do different projects each year? They all weren't supported at the same time were they?
What I liked is the nature of this story. Kadee's acts of kindness on her birthdays are amazing and her story needs to be told. Kudos to you both for choosing to do this story on her. I also liked your b-roll although some moved around. You got a lot of great shots of the family on her most recent birthday and that was great. What is also noticeable though is that your b-roll shots need to be held longer. Some are shown for such a short amount of time that we aren't able to process it. You do this in between interview clips which doesn't work.
I'm just a little confused as to why you didn't interview any family members on that day? You chose to bring them to school where the backgrounds weren't as good as when you were right there with them all. It made more sense to do your interviews right there on that day since they were all there. You could have even interviewed Kadee that day too. I like how you interviewed the people from the food bank as their perspectives were important to the story as well. I would have liked to have seen some shots of the Boys and Girls Club since you mentioned them and maybe even interviewing someone from that organization. The lady from the food bank isn't needed in your story. She says things that were already said by others.
The overall story is ok but it's still lacking some info. I think you need to go back and add some info, either in a sound bite if you have it or a VO of how she's done a random act of kindness on each of her last three birthdays. That interview of her at school where she talks about the three organizations she's helped is a little confusing because of what I mentioned above. I think if you told us before that clip that she's done this on each of her last three birthdays, then it would make more sense. Does she have any pictures or video of her other two birthday acts of kindness? That would help separate them too.
Lastly your audio levels are not even throughout the piece. Some interviews are soft while your VO is loud. You need to spend some time getting them all even at about -6 in your FCP audio meter levels.
Overall a good job with a lot of positives but there are definitely areas for improvement. 3 points.